Settling

23^rd March 2015

Sometimes I feel like I have found my place in Shanghai and it surprises me that I feel settled. I don’t feel scared or unsafe, I haven’t at all really; I don’t miss too many ‘things’ (except and oven and a bath); I don’t crave culture and stimulation, it’s all here – when I’m feeling adventurous enough to seek it out. This weekend I took a lickle stroll down to the ‘fake market’ which involved crossing a lovely (looking) river, pink blossom and greenery either side, Starbucks happily and conveniently situated at its banks; the sunshine was out and I’d discovered a whole new side to my ‘hood’ that I’d not known about before. What seemed a million miles from the crazed rallying of the impatient drivers on overcrowded roads was a little beblossomed haven in reality only 20 minutes walk from my house.

I pottered around the fake market for a while, entertaining myself by creating a mental list of essential things I would buy once I get paid then had a huge lunch that cost around a pound. While my dexterous friend selected and ate with delicacy and style, I appeared quite the opposite. Sometimes I’m bloody good with chopsticks, able to identify an individual morsel of food which looks particularly tasty and snapping it up smooth as you like, a proper professional – yeah, almost local! Other times, however, I’ll look like a complete plonker, twisting chopsticks and fingers in the wrong direction and looking a little dim-witted as the shoulders decide to get involved in order to angle the body more efficiently to scoop, select and deliver, yet ultimately just results in me looking like a hungry hunch back of Notridame (sound effects and all), chopsticks and fingers at all angles, grunting while attempting to pick up a fried dumpling. Yesterday was one such day. The food I successfully managed to consume was, however, delicious (I suppose smaller portions could be a good idea when considering my recent weight gain): I’ll visit again when the shame has died down.

So, in reality, it’s not been too difficult to be here – certain recent events aside. Bearing that in mind, I have created a little list of things it’s taking a while to get used to in China:
-Old ladies in tights and leather hot-pants (although the thought of what might happen as the weather improves is slightly more frightening).
-People weeing in the street
-Panic rushing on to the train involving hefty shoves and general disregard for politeness and common sense. However, having been informed of the ‘swimming technique’, I am now rather more successful at disembarking without the inevitable subsequent attack of rage. You simply extend your arms straight out in front of you, wrist to wrist then as the crazed mob stare into the carriage in anticipation of bolting before you’ve had a chance to leave, you ready yourself. The doors open, you smile, a graceful and elegant swimmer and simultaneously step forward while slowly opening your arms wide in a smooth breast stroke motion until you have scooped them all aside and you can step easily through. Granted, it can be difficult to allay the snarling public keen to race to that seat or simply to a standing position they would have achieved whether they stepped delicately or thundered to with dreaded determination, but seeing as your elbows are already up, there’s always option 2.
-Frickin’ deadly silent mopeds being driven on the pavement; I fear for my Achilles almost every day
-Concern over whether the food I am buying is chemically enhanced and some clever scientist somewhere is rubbing his hands together in glee knowing that he created a strawberry redder, sweeter and significantly larger than the average strawberry out of a potato
-Burping, spitting, hawking (even worse than the actual spitting) and farting in public – not me you understand…
-The fact that learning Mandarin is really effing hard.
-The texture of sweet dumplings. I am really sorry but I just cannot escape the impression that snot must be a similar consistency – just can’t cope with that! Sorry to be disgusting but there it is.

Right so there are just a few things to mull over, roll around the tongue and savour. I’ll keep you posted and say hello again by the end of the week.

Lots and lots of love as always.
Kerry x